losing control.

i've came to the conclusion that i really need to guard my heart. because i fail at it. instead of going to the highest bidder, i go to the first bidder.... or i for some reason imagine someone bidding.

i think i keep making myself like people because i feel so alone. i feel like everyone should just stay away from me because i can't control my feelings. it is so hard because i can't distinguish between what is real and what is an idea that i place in my head.

i'm just asking to get hurt all the time. i hope God can lead me where He wants me because i keep leading myself away from Him.

great feeling when you can't even trust yourself.

pray for me please because i need all the help i can get.