Although... oddly enough, today isn't everything that I wanted it to be. Now my life is a game of trying to not say too much. A cat and mouse game of words and an attempt to avoid arousing any suspicions. I tell myself that I would without thinking do anything for you. Unfortunately telling you how I feel despite the situation at hand and the risk of friendships is holding me back. I guess this means I lied. Sad day. Already proved myself wrong. I can say that nothing else would ever stand in the way. If only I would have been faster to realize where I belong instead of trying to convince myself that this could never happen.... Failsauce.
Another thing that is on my mind is the Campus Crusade for Christ Formal Dance. Everyone asks my why I don't want to go and I guess this will be my 'formal' answer. It isn't that I hate dances. I actually love dances. Well, depends on who I am with. I really only like dancing when it is with someone I am dating. Apparently I am the only person that looks at dancing as I do. I think of dancing as something more intimate I guess. I think that when you dance with someone you are showing a connection with them on so many levels. I don't know. That is just how I look at it. That is why I never go to country night and that is why I am not going to the Formal. I would only go if I had a date but I don't want a date for 'fun' but I would only go with someone if I was either in a relationship with them or if I was completely interested in a them. And since I can't exactly go with the person I want to go with it throws the whole idea of the Formal out. That is my answer. Merry Christmas.
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