Lock me up. Swallow the key.

You can do it! You can do anything...... Yeah. right. I keep telling myself this as I fight an on going battle within myself. I just should be locked up in cage away from all of humanity. I don't do anything good for it. I just treat everyone terribly. I ruin people's lives, friendships, and relationships. Or do I? Or could it be so that I just take so much crap from everyone that I get to a point of exploding and everyone in my path gets destroyed? Maybe. Oh well. I need someone to talk to. I need someone I can always go to. That I can call 2, 3, 4 or 5 am. ANYTIME. Nope. Don't have it. It sucks when your likely candidates end up being the people you need to go to people about. Then they are all best friends so anything you say goes in their ears and out their mouths. I trust people so little right now. I just assume the world is out to get me. That I have to do everything on my own. That I have to fight every battle on my own. That I have to settle everything inside my head and heart before I can go to anyone else. GO FIGHT WIN. Maybe. I don't know where I am going. I don't know what end result I am looking for. I don't know how to travel the journey I am on. But I am on one. It just isn't going anywhere. It stays right inside me. You are strong Scott...... Am I?